"Safari", Lionesses Everywhere!

Namibia

The country where I left my lioness heart two years ago. A country I have dreamed about ever since, a place where all my dreams might actually come true. And my greatest dream was nothing less than becoming a real and famous lioness! We are still allowed to dream, aren't we?

Why? Oh, dear. In all my swooning over Namibia, I completely forgot to introduce myself again. I am Queen "Safari"!

Chronicler! Present my portrait!Safari: "Who are they supposed to be?"

Chronicler: "The lioness or the man?"

Safari: "Both!"

Chronicler: "Well, the man is Valentin and the lioness is Sirga. There was even a film about them once!"

Safari: "Never heard of either of them. Therefore: not famous enough! Next!"

Chronicler: "As you wish, Your Majesty."Safari: "And who are they?"

Chronicler: "Those are Elsa and Joy Adamson!"

Safari: "Elsa? Wasn't she the Queen from Frozen? And why is the picture in black and white?"

Chronicler: "No, I mean the famous lioness Elsa. And the picture is in black and white because it is almost eighty years old."

Safari: "EXCUSE ME?!? I am not an eighty-year-old granny! Even Auntie isn't that old yet!"

Chronicler: "My deepest apologies, Your Majesty. Might I be granted one final attempt?"

Safari: "Since it's you..."

Safari: "Awww! Queen Nala! My role model! Now I really do feel honoured! Although I suspect I still have a very long way to go before I reach her level of fame. But thank you! That is really sweet of you, comparing me to Nala, Queen of the Pridelands."

"However, so as not to confuse our subjects — ermm... I mean, of course, our readers — any further, I think it is now time for my proper portrait...
Chronicler!"

Chronicler: "The one with the crown, Your Majesty?"

Safari: "I should certainly hope so!"

And for everyone now wondering whether I have completely lost the plot and gone utterly bonkers, I can say:

Yes, I have! But quite rightly so!

And for all those wondering how a big-cat-obsessed plush lioness could possibly have become a queen, I have this to say: Cling to my tail tuft and read my travel report! =^.^=

You can look forward to incredible adventures, wonderful encounters, a 'Spot Safari' challenge, a song to sing along to, dashcam evidence, and a story you have almost certainly never read anything quite like before!

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Royal decree from Safari: To anyone who may already know more about my journey: NO SPOILERS and keep your muzzle shut!

Chronicler: "Safari! Mind your language!"

Safari: "What?! That's what the thing between my eyes and the tip of my nose is called!"

Chapter 1: Broken?

As is so often the case, a trip to Africa begins long before the actual departure day. In our case, it started about six months earlier, when my Private Travel Agent had to spend two of the three weeks of his summer holiday working from home for the company after all. This led him to make a firm decision: his next holiday would be somewhere with limited connectivity. And what could possibly be better than Namibia? So, after getting the family's approval, he looked for and booked a reasonably priced flight during the low season and contacted Steffi from Namibia Click and Travel. Since this was, unfortunately, only another two-week trip, we decided to concentrate on the southern part of the country this time:
Sossusvlei, Fish River Canyon and the Kgalagadi Transfrontier Park (KTP), which we had already read so many good things about. Once it became clear rather quickly that finding accommodation in the KTP would be the biggest challenge, we simply waited to see what Steffi would be able to hunt down for us for four or five days there. In the end, after a booking at "Mata Mata" for the final night fell through, we got: "Mata Mata Campsite", "Twee Rivieren Campsite", "Nossob Superior Campsite" and "Twee Rivieren Campsite" once again. The fact that our next — and final — accommodation before the flight home was a mere 385 km away at "Lapa Lange Lodge" did not faze my Private Chauffeur in the slightest at the time. And generally speaking, his itinerary was rather tightly packed, with the Ababis 4x4 driving training, Sesriem, Sossusvlei and Tiras all squeezed into a fairly ambitious schedule. But as an experienced driver, he took it all in his stride...until about two weeks before departure.

Private Tour Leader: "AUuuu!"

Safari: "What's wrong? Don't you dare to get broken now!"

Private Tour Leader: "A slipped disc in my cervical spine, combined with a numb right index finger, muscle tension and pain all down my right arm. But I'm seriously considering..."

Safari: "Absolutely not! I've been looking forward to this trip for six whole months! I want to go to Namibia! So don't even think about it! And besides, you really need a holiday now more than ever!"

Fortunately, we have a very wise lioness (a doctor) in our family who supplied my Private Tour Leader with enough medication and painkillers to keep an entire pride going. And fortunately, driving was still one of the few things that remained reasonably comfortable for him. Unlike sitting at a computer or — as we unfortunately discovered only later — lying horizontally in the roof tent. There was one more problem, though: my tour leader wasn't supposed to carry anything heavy. My 3 kg of plush weight weren't much of an issue... but the 23 kg travel bag (thank goodness it had wheels) and the heavy cameras and lenses were rather more of a problem.

Speaking of weight: to fit both me and all his camera equipment into the hand luggage allowance of 8 kg, he first decided to leave the laptop at home and transfer his photo backups via his phone instead. Yes, this works! And secondly, he declared his heavy telephoto lens, tucked safely into a suitable cool bag, as his personal item. Very clever, admittedly. But at the airport, it proved to be rather inconvenient at times.

Route:08.03.2026 — Direct overnight flight with Eurowings Discover
09.03.2026 — Londiningi Guesthouse
10.03.2026 — Ababis Guestfarm
11.03.2026 — Sesriem NWR Camp
12.+13.03.2026 — Farm Tiras
14.+15.03.2026 — Mount Canyon Guestfarm
16.03.2026 — Mesosaurus Camp
17.03.2026 — Red Dune Camp
18.03.2026 — Kalahari Game Camp (upgraded to a chalet)
19.03.2026 — Mata Mata Camp
20.03.2026 — Twee Rivieren Camp
21.03.2026 — Nossob Premium Camp
22.03.2026 — Twee Rivieren Camp
23.03.2026 — Lapa Lange Lodge
24.03.2026 — Direct overnight flight with Eurowings Discover

Power supply:
12V/220V converter with EU plugs for the 12V car socket.
So our batteries (phone/cameras) could be charged easily while we were driving. =^.^=

Navigation system:
Phone with OpenStreetMap combined with my Private Tour Leader's built-in navigation system.

Camera equipment:
Canon R50 + Tamron 10–24 (landscapes)
Canon R10 + Sigma 50–500 OS (animals and close-ups)
Sigma 12mm F1.4 (STARRY SKIES!!!)
Sigma 105mm F1.4 (light monster *)
Sigma 18–200 C (all-rounder)
Sigma 2x converter (for even more magnification)
Canon 24mm 2.8 Pancake (camera cover)

(*) Safari to Private Photographer: "Woe betide you if I have to go through the airport scanner several times again because of that monstrous thing!"

Chapter 2: Lioness on Board

Just like on our previous trip in 2024, we set off by car towards Frankfurt Airport on Sunday afternoon. With three to four hours of driving ahead of us and outside temperatures of up to 18°C, this was already the first endurance test for my Private Chauffeur and his slipped disc in his neck. We already knew the way to our car park, "Gateway Gardens", and reached it at around 17:30, where we could leave our car for the next 16 days. Luckily, the walk to the S-Bahn station was no longer quite as arduous this time. The entrance to the station was still half a construction site, but at least the escalators were working. Two years ago, my Private Tour Leader had still had to carry his heavy travel bag down the stairs himself, using nothing but his own hands and muscles.
We then took the S-Bahn (S9) for exactly one stop to Frankfurt Airport station, where, conveniently enough, we emerged directly into Terminal 1, right by our check-in desks. The 21 kg travel bag was accepted without any problems, but the hiking backpack containing me and all the camera equipment was eyed with considerable suspicion.

Check-in agent: "And you're checking in whatever is on your back as well?"

Private Tour Leader: "No. Lions belong in hand luggage!"

Check-in agent: "Turn around, please! And that fits the rules?"

Private Tour Leader: "Yes, it's within the limits."

Check-in agent: "Maximum 8 kg?!"

Private Tour Leader: "I weighed it myself."

With the fear that we were now on the wanted list for hand-luggage cheating, and that five minutes before boarding I would be forcibly transferred to the hold at some horrendous extra cost — I had once seen a particularly disturbing YouTube video about that... — we continued on to the automated passport control. And then, the passport suddenly didn't work! Even after the third attempt, all we got was a large, completely unhelpful red cross on the little screen. But once again, my Private Tour Leader had a solution ready and simply used his identity card instead.

And then came security...with which I have had some slightly traumatic memories ever since our trip to Australia. To this day, I have no idea why my Private Tour Leader had to take off his plastic belt. And then, apparently, they didn't even want to put me through the scanner in the first place. Perhaps I looked a little too fierce?
But security is security, so after the scan, I was, unsurprisingly, pulled aside for a secondary inspection once again...It was obviously all because of that stupid monstrous lens again!
While my Private Tour Leader immediately offered to unpack the backpack himself, in mortal fear for his precious lenses, the security officer merely explained, perfectly calmly, that this was just a random standard check. Yeah, right — "random". Sure! In the end, all they actually did was take an explosive trace swab from the telephoto lens, which had of course been packed into a cool bag and was, naturally, right at the very bottom of the backpack at that particular moment. Well, at least it gave my Private Tour Leader the opportunity to repack everything from scratch and put it all back in a completely new order.The route to Gate C20 was, once again, the longest possible way from Terminal 1 and almost felt like a little hike (about 600 m). With 10 kg on his back (7.5 kg of hand luggage + 2.5 kg of personal item), this was only moderately enjoyable for my Private Tour Leader and his troublesome slipped disc. And, as almost always, we were there at 19:30, a full two hours too early. But better too early than too late.As always, I tried to fulfil my first duty — making contacts — by peeking sweetly out of the backpack. But somehow, nobody really took any notice of me. Either there was simply too much going on, or it was that classic "typical German" behaviour of my fellow passengers. It took about an hour before my Private Tour Leader finally managed to get the five-person travel group from North Rhine-Westphalia sitting next to us into conversation and show them the photobook from my first trip to Namibia in 2024.Eventually, boarding started — or rather, we were first herded onto buses and driven to the aircraft's remote parking position. Once we got there, however, we still had to wait in the bus for a good 15 minutes because the cabin crew hadn't quite finished preparing the aircraft yet. In the bus, packed full of travellers, things became a little too warm not only for me, but for everyone else as well, resulting in a few mild expressions of displeasure. At least we learned that our bus driver would be working beyond midnight. And so would his colleagues, throughout the entire night, meaning that we would be spared a fiasco like the one that had recently happened at Munich Airport. There, all passengers had been forced to spend the night in a stationary aircraft because of the airport's night-flight curfew — all for a flight that should have taken only 90 minutes...

Our seat lottery was only partially successful this time, with one empty seat next to us. But the Airbus A330 was almost completely full, so we could consider ourselves lucky to have even one empty seat beside us. I, however, suddenly had an idea how to solve this problem...

Safari: "Would you like to have a private jet?"

Private Tour Leader: "What are you planning?!"

Safari: "I'll just shout 'LION ON BOARD!' really loudly!"

Private Tour Leader: "And who's going to fly the plane?"

In the end, we decided to make do with the one empty seat and, after our punctual departure at 22:00, watched the Minecraft movie. Good grief, was that film embarrassing!
Tired as we were, we then tried to get some sleep. Although, once again, for my Private Tour Leader it remained merely an attempt. Far too tall for Economy Class and with his slipped disc in his neck, I eventually had to help him at least find a position in which he could doze off. I sat on his lap while he rested his head on top of mine. And this was not to be the last time that I — alongside my roles as social contact-maker, photo model and camera support — would also have to serve as a pillow. But, to be honest: For a trip to Namibia, I would do (almost) anything!

Chapter 3: "Pro", as in Professional
(9 March 2026)

Another reason why we couldn't sleep were the many turbulences over the Sahara and the Equator. And if the pilots hadn't so skilfully avoided the thunderstorm cells, we would certainly have been shaken around much more violently. Sometime before dawn, we finally gave up on trying to sleep and watched another film ("IF – Imaginary Friends") until breakfast was served. During breakfast, I also became a little acquainted with my seat neighbour Kiara from Windhoek. Especially her cool headphones caught my attention.We landed at "Hosea Kutako Airport" right on time at 9:20. And since we were sitting in the last row, we were also the first ones able to get off the plane via the rear stairs.From other travel reports, we knew that speed was most important now. So my Private Porter made full use of his long legs and set a decent pace. After a brief moment of confusion in the arrivals hall about where exactly to find the Visa on Arrival counters (all the way to the left in the large hall), we actually ended up third in the queue. However, we were celebrating a little too soon. Apparently, the border officer at our counter had been partying late into the night the previous Sunday and was now threatening to fall asleep in his booth with his eyes wide open. I would have happily offered him a coffee or a Coke, but unfortunately those were only available after the controls. So at least we got to witness the very loud announcement by the police chief, who made absolutely sure to impress upon all the tourists present that they were not to pay any fines directly to police officers, nor attempt to bribe them.

Despite the lengthy visa procedure, we were among the first to reach the baggage reclaim area. And since our rather conspicuously stickered travel bag was also among the first to appear on the conveyor belt, we could immediately queue up at the still fairly quiet MTC counter next door. So we quickly acquired the large "MTC Tourist Rip-Off Package" and were back online in no time. Although... weren't we actually supposed to spend a few offline days here in Namibia?

The customs officer also had a little joke at my expense when she asked for my entry documents. With great confidence, I explained to her that I obviously belonged to the locals! =^.^=

Just beyond customs, we were greeted by "Pro", our driver from "Safari Car Rental", who asked whether we needed anything else. We were actually the only guests he had to collect from the airport, so after a quick stop at the ATM (South African rand only), we could head off straight away. We were just about to pass through the exit barrier of the car park when my Private Tour Leader's phone suddenly vibrated with the new Namibian number. Slightly puzzled by the Namibian number also displayed on the screen, he answered the call — only to be informed, to his horror, that he had left his passport at the MTC counter! So we quickly headed back into the airport, through the scanner, to the MTC counter, through the scanner again and back to "Pro", who patiently waited in the car with me. "Oh man, here we go again!", I thought, immediately remembering our losses on our previous trip. This could be fun.

We got along brilliantly with "Pro" right from the start, so the drive to the car rental office could easily have been a little longer. And how green everything was! It was just like home in late spring!When we arrived at "Safari Car Rental", we were immediately greeted personally by the leader of the pride... erm, I mean the boss, Rike. She recognised me straight away (I must have made quite an impression), so the formalities for my Private Chauffeur were dealt with quickly as well. "Pro" then showed us the most important things on the vehicle (jack, four-wheel-drive engagement, two spare wheels), as well as going over the roof-tent dismantling once again. Before long, we could start loading the vehicle, at least temporarily. Speaking of the vehicle: the Toyota Hilux we had once again looked almost brand new! With only 66669 km on the clock and almost new tyres, it was perfectly equipped for our trip with all its additional camping gear.As a thank-you for his friendly and professional assistance and briefing, "Pro" even received a little wrapped gift instead of a tip, which he was delighted about. We were also able to leave the first digital copy of my 2024 photobook at "Safari Car Rental". "Pro" definitely wanted to take his time looking through all 84 pages rather than just flicking through them quickly. It must have been around midday when we finally said goodbye to Rike and Pro and set off.As always, our first destination was the Superspar at "Maerua Mall" in Windhoek. The new motorway made it very quick to get there. We stocked up for the first few days, including emergency supplies (COKE!!!), and also bought a delicious sandwich for lunch. Then we headed straight across town to our first accommodation, the "Londiningi Guest House". As it was still early afternoon, my Private Tour Leader spontaneously tried to organise a city tour with "Bwana Tucke-Tucke". Unfortunately, there wasn't a suitable group that day for us to join — and doing it just the two of us would have been too last-minute and stressful. So instead, we decided to swap rooms in the backyard of the "Londiningi Guest House" (room 9 instead of 6), sort out our belongings and properly organise the Hilux.Room 9 had the advantage that we could park our Toyota right next to the back entrance and therefore plug our cool box directly into a power socket. And many thanks to Steffi from "Namibia Click and Travel" for the lovely notebook!After a much-needed shower for my Private Tour Leader, we headed out at around 17:00, making another quick stop at the ATM (NAD) on the way to "Joe's Beerhouse". I can kind of understand why this place is so hyped by so many tourists and perhaps even some locals. And the "Lion's Paw Chocolate Brownie" was delicious too. But somehow, the spark didn't really jump across for us. Perhaps also because we were sitting all alone at a large round table and my Private Tour Leader's right arm was hurting quite badly because of his slipped disc.Back at the "Londiningi Guest House", we rested for a little while before heading down for dinner at 19:00.As everything here was organised by room number, we once again had our own table all to ourselves. However, we had been placed near the water dispenser, which was a strategically perfect spot for me to target the eleven tourists from "Camelhorse Safari", who were sitting next to us. They simply couldn't pass me without getting their first lioness sighting. =^.^=The waitress was also incredibly nice to me and was delighted to be allowed to have a little look through my 2024 photobook. As suspected, she had never really travelled beyond her immediate surroundings and therefore had no idea just how beautiful her own country actually was. The evening passed far too quickly as we enjoyed its delicious dinner. But after a sleepless night on the plane, we were more than happy to snuggle into our cosy bed at around 21:15.

And tomorrow, our adventure would finally get properly under way with a proper first lioness sighting! =^.^=

Chapter 4: Food For A Lion
(10 March 2026)

It was still dark outside when I woke up. At first, I thought it was raining, which would have been great for the Namibians. But after a quick check on the back terrace, it soon turned out that the rustling sound was merely the wind in the trees. Still a little tired, I snuggled back into the cosy bed and dreamed up the first adventures of our trip, while outside it wasn't only the dogs that were howling, but also a car alarm.

As it slowly became light outside, we got up and had a closer look around the Guest House. Considering that the place is almost right in the middle of the capital, it is really beautifully designed.I also got the opportunity to make friends with one of my kind. Unfortunately, the little house cat was rather shy.The waitresses at breakfast were a little less shy. They too were curious to have a look at my photobook, and in the end we were friends enough to take a group photo.Almost at the same time as the tour group, we also set off on our first day of Namibia adventures. Our first stop was the "Klein Windhoek Schlachterei" in Albert Wessels Street in the north of Windhoek. We wanted to stock up on some proper game meat for our upcoming braai evenings around the campfire. While I kept an eye on our car, my Private Chauffeur went into the shop. And thanks to my excellent hearing, I was able to follow the conversation with the saleswoman with one ear.

Private Chauffeur: "I would like to have 300 grams of game meat. Do you have something to sell?"

Saleswoman: "I have to look."

*The saleswoman disappears into the back room and returns five minutes later with a very large piece of kudu meat. She puts the meat on the scales, which show 1.7 kg.*

Saleswoman: "This is kudu. Okay?"

Private Chauffeur: "Sure. Please make me three or four slices."

*The saleswoman disappears into the back room again and returns another five minutes later with the same piece of meat. She puts the previously shown, but now divided into four pieces, kudu meat on the scales, which, of course, still show 1.7 kg.*

Private Chauffeur: "I said I would like to have 300–400 grams for me for the braai! This is way too much!"

Saleswoman: "But you said 'four pieces'."

Private Chauffeur: "I said 'four slices' and 300–400 grams. Zero point three kilograms, you understand? How am I supposed to eat 1.7 kg all by myself?! With this I could feed a lion!"

*Safari roars from inside the car.*

Safari: "Food for a lion?! Here! HEEEERE!!!"

To my absolute dismay, however, my cries went unheard inside the shop. Well, my Private Chauffeur was going to regret this when he got back. I certainly wasn't going to hunt anything for him anymore!

When he finally returned with just four tiny slices of kudu, I did what any offended cat would do and turned my backside towards him and ignored him completely. Without exchanging a word, we then drove to the nearest Shell petrol station to fill our car's 160-litre tank with diesel. Oh yes, suddenly he had money for that... *grumble*

We took the A1 around Windhoek's city centre and turned onto the south-westbound C26. After only a few kilometres, just beyond a rubbish dump, we came to one of the police checkpoints which presumably exist on every road leading out of Windhoek. The police officer, who had apparently been left alone at the post by his colleagues, made a rather serious impression with his assault rifle strapped across his chest. In the end, however, all he wanted to see was my Private Chauffeur's German driving licence. Unfortunately, he still had it in the large travel bag in the canopy at the back of the vehicle, so he couldn't show it to the officer straight away. The friendly policeman was nevertheless about to let us continue. Perhaps he had immediately realised that my Private Chauffeur was simply a clueless tourist. Or perhaps he thought that I, a local lioness, would keep an eye on him. But my Private Chauffeur wouldn't be my Private Chauffeur if he hadn't dutifully pulled over at the side of the road, retrieved the driving licence from the travel bag and shown it to the police officer anyway. From then on, the licence stayed in his wallet in his trouser pocket.After another few kilometres through a beautiful, hilly and completely green landscape, the tar road ended and turned into a broad gravel road. By this point, I really felt like I had arrived in Namibia.

On the next hill, with an even better view over the surrounding landscape, we reduced the tyre pressure to 1.8 bar and the bladder pressure to zero and took a few landscape photos.For many kilometres, we followed the partly freshly graded C26, past the farm "Göllschau", before turning onto the D1265 towards "Nauchas" and "Spreetshoogte Pass". Here we had our first unexpected wildlife sighting in the form of a tortoise. It also gave us a rather subtle hint about how one should drive on holiday in Namibia:

Re-laaaaaaxed and sloooooowly.Since I hadn't been given any lion food, I tried to hunt something for myself along the way.(Safari hunts cattle.)

And yes, I was desperate!(Safari hunts speeders.)

Eventually, my constant demands for stops caught the attention of my Private Chauffeur...

Private Chauffeur: "Safari, now tell me what's wrong with you! This silence and all these constant stops."

Safari: "What do you expect from a half-starved lioness?!"

Private Chauffeur: "Half-starved?! Why...??"

Safari: "THE ONE POINT SEVEN KILOS OF MEAT YOU LEFT BEHIND, FOR EXAMPLE!"

Private Chauffeur: "Hey, don't shout at me!"

Safari: "THEN DROP ME OFF IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME!"

I really shouldn't have said that...

We actually stopped, he dropped me off and walked away!!!Help! Poor, starving, abandoned lioness in... does anyone know where I am??? The sign says something about "Nice here" and "Baden-Württemberg"!

Chapter 5: The Heart of Namibia

A note from my Private Chauffeur regarding the previous chapter: Don't worry. Safari is just being overly dramatic again. Of course I didn't leave her behind and merely walked 20 metres further to the tree with the white-browed sparrow-weavers. So it was really nothing to worry about.Nothing to worry about?! NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT?! Well, I was so shocked that I actually fell off the sign!In the end, we both calmed down again and took some more photos at the Tropic of Capricorn.Shortly before the farm "Nouams", I was finally allowed to try my luck at hunting once again. And while my Private Photographer was documenting my hunting scene on his camera, a car suddenly came racing past us.

Oh, if only I had stayed by the 100 km/h sign...As my Private Chauffeur was getting hungry too, we drove to the nearby farm "Nouams". While I was once again left in charge of guarding our car, my Private Chauffeur went into the little farm shop. He didn't find anything to eat, though. Just a tablecloth as a souvenir and some salt for the braai. So far, nothing out of the ordinary. Things got a little strange, however, when he quickly transferred a few photos to his phone and then went back into the shop. What on earth was he up to now?!?

When he came back a short while later, he was grinning like a Cheshire cat. Puzzled, I asked him what had happened, and this is the story he told me:

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While shopping in the farm shop, he had been approached by a man (the farm owner?) who asked what he had been photographing back on the road. Remember the car that passed us while I was lying in wait for some cattle? Well, this man must have been in that passing car and spotted my Private Photographer. And of course he had not seen me, the perfectly camouflaged lioness.
His question was then answered truthfully:

Farm Owner: "Hi! What did you see back there on the road?"

Private Photographer: "I have seen a lion!"

He and his wife laughed briefly and presumably dismissed my Private Photographer as a stupid tourist. The man then casually went on his way while my Private Photographer paid for his purchases. But anyone who knows my Private Photographer knows that he wouldn't let something like this go. After all, he had a "photo of proof"...

So, after transferring the aforementioned evidence photo to his phone, my Private Photographer went back into the shop to prove that he really had seen a lion. And this is what happened:

With a slight grin on his face, my Private Photographer showed the photo to the saleswoman and thought to himself: 
'She'll surely realise straight away that I wasn't lying, but that I was only joking. After all, Safari is only 110 cm tall, not 240 cm. And as an experienced farm owner, she'll surely realise immediately that Safari is just a plush lioness.'

The farm owner, however, thought: 
'Shit! The man wasn't lying! There really is a lioness hiding in the grass! What am I going to do now? MY CATTLE!! I have to get my cattle to safety somehow! And I need to organise a hunter immediately to catch the lioness or at least drive her away! Oh man! I really had other problems to deal with today!!!'

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Yes, I could hardly believe it myself when my Private Photographer told me what had just happened! She had actually mistaken me for a REAL LIONESS!!! Wow! That made me incredibly happy! Although I did feel a little sorry for the farm owner. =^.^=

After the farm owner had stared at the photo on the phone for a little too long and a little too silently, my Photographer finally explained the situation. He showed her another photo of me and the "Cattle" warning sign, where I could be seen from nose to tail. And in that picture, she finally realised that I was hardly a danger to her or her cattle. Once the enormous weight had been lifted from her shoulders, she laughed too.

Oh, how I wish I could have been there! Instead, I had to guard the car and admire the beautiful flower garden.Our journey continued via "Nauchas" onto the D1275, past "Namibgrens" and towards "Spreetshoogte Pass".The view from the upper viewpoint really was fantastic, looking out over the land far below. For a moment, I felt as if I could see all the way beyond the horizon.But my personal favourite spot was a little further down at the lower viewpoint. Because here, next to a beautiful tree providing some welcome shade...... there was also a "Gondwana Heart" to cuddle.I really like this photo. =^.^=

Using the engine brake in second and first gear, we then descended the steep pass road with its 1,000 metres of elevation loss. It has gradients of up to 22%! Definitely something for those who don't suffer from vertigo — like me and my Private Chauffeur.

Once we reached the plains, we came across either some very strange cows or a rather confusing "Horse" warning sign near "Farm Ubib"...At the end of the D1275, we turned left onto the C14. From here, "Solitare", with its famous "McGregor's Bakery" and its much-coveted "Apple Pie", wasn't far away. Naturally, we had to make a (refuelling) stop and investigate the rumours about the apple pie for ourselves.My verdict from a culinary perspective: Tastes good. But I also know where I can get a better apple pie.

The confused looks from the other tourists and the cheeky sparrows were much more interesting anyway. =^.^=Another highlight for me were the ground squirrels. Here I was really able to demonstrate my stalking skills. I bet nobody else gets this close without using food or bait!Private Photographer: "I can — with my camera!" :)Very funny, my dear. Very funny. I'm dying of laughter... not.

And then came every amateur photographer's dream: lots of old, completely rusted cars standing around. Can someone please explain to me why practically every tourist takes photos of these things?Although sitting on a tractor was actually quite nice.From there, it was only a 14 km hop to "Ababis Guestfarm", our destination for the day.Here we were first greeted by a few goats outside the garden and then by two very friendly dogs in the garden, before finally making our way to Katrin, the resident leader of the pride... erm, I mean, farm owner.As we were the only campers staying that night, we could choose whichever campsite we liked. My Private Chauffeur briefly asked whether he could already do the theory part of the 4x4 driving course. Since the driving instructor was still out, however, this would have to take place normally the following morning. We quickly agreed on the dinner time and then headed off to our campsite.

We chose campsite number 3, the most secluded one.My Private-Lion-of-All-Trades then headed off to the rustic shower-and-toilet hut to have a shower and cool down. Then he put up the roof tent and went back under the shower for another quick cool-down. Then he rested for a while and cooled down again with another five-second shower. Have I mentioned yet that it was incredibly hot at Ababis that afternoon?But we had expected hot temperatures and were enjoying them. What we enjoyed rather less were the flies — not biting, but all the more annoying. We had expected them too and had bought a rather pungent repellent to spray on ourselves, but apparently the flies didn't care. They were determined to inspect every bodily opening (ears, nose and mouth) in greater detail. Luckily, I was immune. As a plush lioness, I don't have any openings. But my Private-Lion-of-All-Trades spent most of his time waving his paws around and swatting flies away. It was only when he put out some black socks to dry that a few of the flies suddenly found them more interesting...In the end, though, it was all half as bad, and the towering clouds that formed towards evening rewarded us with an absolutely dreamy sunset.What can I say? I was radiating with happiness!My first proper sundowner!We were booked in for dinner on the veranda of the main house at 20:00. We almost arrived late, though, because the direct footpath from the campsite ended at a small cliff, probably due to the last lot of water flowing through the "Tsondab" river. In the darkness, my Private Pathfinder used his headlamp to search for an alternative route and fortunately found one a few metres further upstream.

Dinner itself was shared with Katrin and Uwe, Isabell and Roland (our 4x4 driving instructor), all the other guests and the volunteer around one large table. The dinner was not only delicious, but highly entertaining too! And that wasn't just because of the interesting conversations about snakes, driving courses (Roland was sitting directly opposite us) and church, but also because of the five geckos catching two enormous lacewings on the wall of the house. The size difference between gecko and lacewing was roughly equivalent to me eating an entire springbok all by myself. Accordingly, after his meal the gecko was just like us: completely stuffed and almost spherical!Fortunately, the enormous lacewings, like almost all the flying insects we encountered, didn't have any stingers either.In fact, these giant insects were so peaceful that first Roland and then my Private Travel Companion took one onto his finger. "Roland, the lacewing whisperer". =^.^=At around 21:30, we made our way back to our campsite in complete darkness, taking the more sure-footed vehicle track. Because of the light from the headlamp, we were "cuddled" by countless lacewings along the way, which I considered a serious invasion of my privacy.

We had been really looking forward to our first night in the cosy roof tent. Unfortunately, though, my Travel Companion's troublesome slipped disc made his attempt to fall asleep a disaster. As soon as he lay down, almost his entire right arm started hurting. In desperation, he climbed out of the tent again and took a second painkiller. Afterwards, he apparently distracted himself with a few first attempts at photographing the Milky Way. I, on the other hand, had entered the land of dreams a long time ago...

Chapter 6: Four Paws Are Always Better!
(11 March 2026)

Long before sunrise, we woke up in the early dawn at 6:10. As a lioness in tune with nature, I was of course well rested and full of energy. My Travel Companion... well, let's just say he was quite happy to be allowed to get up after getting at least a little sleep.I would have loved to help him take down the tent by moonlight. But with my two left paws, I probably would have been more of a hindrance than a help. Instead, he earned my full respect for taking everything down so neatly before the first rays of sunshine had even appeared!That meant we could enjoy the approaching sunrise in peace and quiet — and that alone made every minute of getting up so early worthwhile.For practical and time-saving reasons, we had also booked breakfast at "Ababis", so shortly before 8:00 we left our campsite and drove over to the farmhouse. I really admire my smaller felid relatives. Despite the presence of the two rather large, but very friendly dogs, they remained completely relaxed in their wonderfully cosy spots. "Ababis" really is a little animal paradise on Earth.We met Roland, our 4x4 driving instructor, at breakfast already. And after filling up on the extensive breakfast spread, we settled down for the theory part of the course.

(Schoolroom)Since I don't understand much about technology, unlike my Private Chauffeur, I couldn't really remember very much. The only thing that stuck in my mind was the golden rule of 4x4 driving: "As slowly as possible, as fast as necessary." And something about different types of gearboxes and clutches, as well as differential locks. As far as I understood it, our Toyota Hilux had some sort of automatic rear-paw-knotting mechanism as soon as four-paw drive was engaged. That's why you shouldn't take tight corners on hard surfaces (such as tarmac) in that mode. Or something like that?
I'm a lioness, for goodness' sake. I don't need to know this stuff!

The practical part, which began shortly after 10:00, was much more exciting anyway. With Roland sitting in the co-driver's seat, we first did an emergency braking exercise before driving into the partly sandy, partly rocky riverbed. There, Roland explained to my Private Chauffeur how and where to drive and which gears to use. And once my Private Chauffeur had more or less got the hang of that — as well as the dimensions of the vehicle — things got serious. With the next practical exercise in mind, Roland guided us into a particularly deep patch of sand. There, my Private Chauffeur was allowed to properly bury the car and get us stuck. Completely deliberately, of course.There wasn't even enough room for a tail tuft underneath the vehicle! Just a little deeper and we would have had quite a lot of digging to do to get the vehicle back out! But under Roland's guidance, my Private Chauffeur managed to slowly and carefully work his way out of the situation. I was genuinely impressed. By my Private Chauffeur and by the vehicle!

But if you think that was all, think again! Things only got really interesting when we headed into an old gravel quarry with all sorts of slopes and little hills. More than once, my Private Chauffeur seriously doubted whether he could actually make it over the obstacle Roland had set for him. But in the end, our Hilux proved what it was capable of (and what it wasn't)! And twice, it even ended up standing on just two paws... erm, I mean wheels! Nothing particularly special for you two-legged creatures, but quite a feat from my point of view!

And to finish things off, we climbed the stormy "Olympus". Once again, it became clear that four paws are simply better than two. =^.^=Thank you, Roland!Back at the farmhouse, the off-road fun sadly came to an end at around 13:30. But that was actually perfect timing, as we still wanted to make it to "Seserim" today and perhaps even all the way to "Sossusvlei". So we quickly settled the bill for our food and drinks with Katrin, sent a few photos home over the mobile network, and then Roland presented my Private Chauffeur with his off-road driving course certificate. Now surely nothing could possibly go wrong on the final stretch to Sossusvlei.

Chapter 7: Onward into the Desert!

Passing the quiver tree not far from "Ababis", we headed towards the C19, where we got another chance to admire our "Olympus" from below, this time from a completely different perspective.The C19 gravel road itself was, like almost all the roads on our trip, in excellent condition. We had read quite different reports beforehand. Here are a few impressions from along the way.And yes, I have developed a bit of a soft spot for animal warning signs. As a lioness, that only makes sense to me. After all, wherever there are warning signs about hoofed animals, there ought to be something for me to hunt as well.At around 15:15, we reached "Seserim", where the guard at the first gate assigned us number 82. I assume that meant we were the 82nd vehicle that day. The guard then sent us straight on to the second gate further inside, where we paid the one-day park entrance fee.Back at the reception in the camp — where the shop and bar are also located — we checked in at our campsite. We were assigned campsite number 4. It was nicely spaced out from the other campsites, while still being reasonably close to everything.

Next on our itinerary was the "Seserim Canyon". Unfortunately, the road there was absolutely dreadful corrugated gravel. Luckily, it was only 4 km, so for once it was bearable.
At the car park in front of the canyon, we were only the second vehicle there in the midday heat, which suggested that there were very few tourists down in the canyon.Like many visitors before us, we initially wondered where exactly the entrance to the canyon was. Strangely enough, there aren't any proper signs pointing you towards it. The solution — or rather, the route — wasn't actually all that difficult to find. Simply walk through the barrier from the car park and then follow the depression that begins there towards the right (west). It gradually gets deeper until you eventually reach the bottom of the canyon via a narrow staircase.Depression (canyon entrance)The entrance to the canyon was also the perfect spot for a little tourist ambush. It was almost like something out of William Tell! "Through this hollow way they must come!"And I'm pretty sure... she really didn't see me. =^.^=Since I definitely preferred the shadier part of the canyon, we walked east towards its beginning. There was even some water here! A welcome change from the otherwise extremely dry surroundings.For a few minutes, we had the place all to ourselves. But then — as has almost become a tradition on our travels — the obligatory Swiss tourist turned up with his friend. After a few opening sentences in English, we quickly switched to Swiss German and exchanged stories about the places we had visited so far. As the two of them hadn't yet found accommodation for that evening, we recommended "Ababis" and Roland's 4x4 driving course.

On the way back, I also found the perfect walking stick for myself. =^.^=In theory, you can apparently explore the canyon all the way to the very end. But that was simply too far and too hot for us, and we were running short on time anyway. I'd much rather entertain the next unsuspecting tourists who got to experience what was probably their first lioness sighting. And the guide of the group was very nice too. He thought my name suited me perfectly, because "Safari" means "journey" in Swahili.

We headed back to "Sesriem" along the bumpy road and then passed through the second gate onto the tar road towards "Sossusvlei". On the way to the "Sossuspoort Viewpoint" near "Dune 1", we spotted an all-male group of ostriches, as well as a cute little bird. I think it must have been a Rüppell's korhaan, if I'm not mistaken.From the viewpoint, we had an impressive view over the "Tsauchab Valley", which stretches around 60 kilometres deep into the red Namib Desert.And finally, the moment had come. For the first time, I was allowed to set my paws on the red sand of the Namib. :)As it was only just after 18:00 and the inner gate would remain open until 20:30, we carried on. Always heading towards the setting sun, deeper and deeper into the valley.Our final destination was "Dune 40", which looked absolutely stunning in the golden evening light.But my fur colour fitted in very nicely with the surroundings, too.*Safari to her Private Photographer*

Safari: "Why is the photo tilted?!"

Private Photographer: "It's a European angle!"

Safari: "Ah... Only you could come up with that!"

Just as crooked as the angle of the photo was the woman in it. She had apparently just run up to the dune and filled a little bottle with sand. And what for? As a souvenir! I can only hope, for the sake of the Namib Desert, that she was an isolated case!

But back to some more beautiful photos of the dune, the sunset and me.And as a "car girl", I don't look too bad either. And beware anyone who gets the wrong idea!Private Photographer: "Safari! That's the wrong car!"

Safari: "Wrong? How can it be wrong? It's got the yellow cord... Never mind!
All the campers belong to the Car-Pride-Leader Lioness Rike from Safari Car Rental anyway!"It was only on our way back to the "Sesriem Camp" that we realised our little scheduling mistake. The inner gate was indeed open until 20:30, but of course sunset was already at 19:15! And, strictly speaking, we weren't supposed to drive after dark for safety and insurance reasons... I hope Car-Pride-Leader Lioness Rike from "Safari Car Rental" doesn't read this part too carefully — or perhaps she'll turn a blind eye. And alongside a beautiful sunset, we actually spotted our first predator: a jackal!Just before 20:00, we finally reached "Sesriem" again. The last light of dusk had just disappeared, and the campsite was already completely dark. But by now, putting up the roof tent had become second nature to my Private Tour Guide. After a quick grooming session and a simple but satisfying salami-and-butter sandwich for dinner, we were already in bed by around 21:30.

I fell asleep straight away again. My Private Tour Guide a little later. What neither of us knew at that moment, lying beneath the stars of Namibia, was that the following day would top everything that had come before.

So stay tuned for more tail-twitching adventures!

Yours, Safari =^.^=

Chapter 8: The Incredible Sensation in Dead Vlei!
(12 March 2026)

I'm not entirely sure. But it was probably either the restless sleep of my Private Tour Guide, whose slipped disc was still giving him trouble, or the biological bladder alarm that got us up at 4:50. Or perhaps both. Since we hadn't really come to the campsite the previous evening to camp, but merely to sleep, my Private Tour Guide only had to fold up and pack away the roof tent. And so it came to pass that at 5:30, we were actually the very first ones at the second inner gate! There were still a few minutes to quickly grab a bite to eat before the barriers opened, right on schedule at 5:43.

We set off at the permitted 60 km/h. Everyone was behaving beautifully, driving in a neat line like a string of glowing lights in the darkness. Then, just beyond the first bend and out of sight of the gate, suddenly all speed limits seemed to become irrelevant. The convoy disintegrated, engines roared, and everyone accelerated as fast as their respective vehicles would allow. My Private Tour Guide reckoned that some vehicles were overtaking us at well over 100 km/h. And, as we were later able to piece together, they were the Sossusvlei Shuttle Service and other professional tour guides!
Okay, admittedly, when we were overtaken again about halfway there, after the "Tsauchab River Crossing", my Private Chauffeur decided to stick with the overtaking vehicle and use it as a sort of road-condition scout. At least until its speed became a little too fast even for his own comfort.

With the feeling that we were bringing up the rear, we reached the 4x2 parking area at the end of the tar road and promptly left it behind. We simply engaged the all-paw drive, took a deep breath, and headed into the famous sandy riverbed of the dried-up Tsauchab.
Following Roland's advice from our 4x4 driving course, we built up a good speed of around 40 km/h to minimise the risk of getting stuck. With this strategy, we actually overtook another vehicle on the way that was travelling at only half our speed. And when we arrived at the "Dead Vlei parking area", we were the first ones there?!?

Okay... we really hadn't expected that, but of course we weren't complaining about being the first at the "Dead Vlei parking area". =^.^=

So, while everything was still shady in the early morning light, we quickly found the shadiest parking spot we could for later, packed some water and the camera into our hiking backpack, and set off.
And just as we started our hike into Dead Vlei, the next vehicles arrived with their next batches of tourists.It was 6:45 at this point, and the sun couldn't have been far from the eastern horizon.Following the almost straight line of white-painted posts, we reached Dead Vlei in just 15 minutes. And together with a lovely group of Japanese visitors, we really were the very first visitors there on this still very early morning.

I don't think everyone gets to see a completely deserted Dead Vlei.Being responsible visitors, we first carefully studied the rules of conduct. No drones, no climbing and, above all, no touching the trees!Faced with the agony of choice, we made our way to our first tree and did what pretty much every tourist does here. Took photos.But then! Completely unexpectedly, my Private Photographer made a truly sensational discovery!

While I was doing what lionesses do, my Private Photographer spotted an antelope in Dead Vlei! A springbok, filling its stomach at the very last green bush before the Namib Desert stretched endlessly away behind it!But if you think that was all — think again!
Because what he saw next, nobody would ever have believed if he hadn't taken a photo to prove it!
And this really was the sensation of the day! No, what am I saying? The sensation of the century!

At first, he only noticed a brief movement out of the corner of his eye. Then he spotted a stalking, hunting lioness!

Incredible, isn't it?
So naturally beautiful!
And simply elegant and photogenic!
I do like action shots of myself. =^.^=

Unfortunately, there was far too little cover in the area, so in the end I had absolutely no chance of getting even remotely close to the springbok without being spotted. So he went on his way, back towards Sossusvlei.

We, meanwhile, went back to admiring the dead and living trees. At least they don't run away. =^.^=And shortly after 7:30, the morning sun finally managed to climb over the enormous dune of "Dead Vlei".Tree number 3, or 4? Ah, who knows.There were certainly enough trees for everyone.Eventually, the shade in the valley of the dead trees became increasingly scarce. And since neither I nor my Private Photographer fancied being roasted by the hot sun, we decided to make our way back to our Toyota at the parking area.

Private Photographer: "Safari? Would you mind hiding in the backpack on the way back?"

Safari: "I can do that. What are you planning?"

Private Photographer: "I've got an idea you might like."

And so that you can fully appreciate what happened next, here are the original photos from my springbok hunt earlier that morning. Take a good look at them. These photos are about to play a very important role!

!!!!! Sensational Photo A: Springbok in the Dead Vlei!!!!!

!!!!! Even more sensational Photo B: Hunting lioness in the Dead Vlei!!!!!

We hadn't even reached the top of the first saddle dune when our first suitable victim came towards us. It was an English couple of a slightly more mature age. And the less-than-athletic lady — let's just call her ‘Elizabeth’ — was already noticeably out of breath from the strenuous climb.

Private Photographer: "Hi! How are you?"

Elizabeth: breathing heavily "Hi! I'm fine, I'm fine."

Private Photographer: "Congratulations! You just made it up the last slope. It's amazing down there in the Vlei. The light, the shadows and the dead trees between the dunes... And I even saw a hunting lioness this morning!"

Elizabeth: *looking suspicious* "You're kidding me!"

Private Photographer: "No! Really! I can show you the photos I took."

Elizabeth: "Seriously?!"

Private Photographer: *showing her sensational Photo A* "See! Here's the antelope looking towards the bush..."

Private Photographer: *switching to sensational Photo B* "...and here's the lioness."

Elizabeth: *slightly shocked* "Oh my God!!! Darling, look! He's telling the truth! A lioness!! Unbelievable!"

What can I say... I was as proud as Simba after reclaiming his kingdom!!!
I mean, I was right there in full size in the photo. And yet Elizabeth and her husband were completely convinced that I was a genuine, antelope-hunting lioness!
Wow! My plush lioness heart was absolutely bursting with joy!

Thank you, dear worried and slightly frightened Elizabeth! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! =^.^=

Elizabeth: *now worried* "Is the lioness... is she still down there?!?"

Private Photographer: "No, don't worry! I caught her!"

Elizabeth: *puzzled* "YOU DID WHAT??!!"

Under Elizabeth's utterly disbelieving gaze, my Private Photographer took his backpack off his back and opened the main compartment. And there I was, beaming back at her with a tear of joy in my eye.

Private Photographer: "Here she is! Sorry about the joke, but I hope I made your day!"

Elizabeth: *laughing wholeheartedly* "You did! You definitely did!"

I think the woman was rather relieved to discover that she wasn't actually dealing with a fully grown, 130-kilogram predator after all, but merely a small, cuddly 3-kilogram cat. And I also think this encounter really did make her day. After all, I'm pretty sure she had only put herself through all those exertions out of love for her husband. So that he could, naturally, take photos of dead trees in the Dead Vlei.

Safari to her Private Photographer: "That was a little mean, though, fooling such an unsuspecting tourist. I doubt it would work with an experienced local guide."

Private Photographer: "I'll take that bet! Look, there's one coming with his tour group!"So I quickly hid myself in the backpack again and eagerly waited to see what would happen.

Private Photographer: "Hi! How are you?"

Tour Guide: "Fine! And you?"

Private Photographer: "I am excited! I just had an unbelievable sighting! I saw a hunting lioness in the Dead Vlei over there!"

Tour Guide: "That's impossible. You must have misjudged something."

Private Photographer: "No, really! I can show you the photos!"

Private Photographer: *showing him Photo A* "See! Here's the springbok by the bush..."

Private Photographer: *switching to Photo B* "...and here's the hunting lioness."

*The tour guide stares at Photo B on the camera display for several seconds.*

Tour Guide: "I can't believe it! I've never heard of a sighting like this here. When did you see the lion?"

Private Photographer: "This morning! Just when the sun came up."

*Some of his tour guests also take a look at Photo B.*

Tour Guide: "This morning?! And which direction did the lion go?"

Private Photographer: "Well, I caught her!"

Tour Guide: "Sorry, what?"

Private Photographer: "I caught the lioness!"

Tour Guide: "WHAT?!"

Tourist: "Ah, that's a toy lion!"

*The tour guide takes a third look at the photo and bursts out laughing.*

Tour Guide: "Oh! You tricked me! You really tricked me!"

I was speechless! Can you believe it? He believed it too! A man who had probably been to the Dead Vlei and Sossusvlei a thousand times!
I'm going crazy! No, wait, what am I saying? I'm becoming a real lioness! A real L-I-O-N-E-S-S!!!!!
I could ROAR WITH JOY!!!

With an indescribable feeling of happiness, we walked the rest of the way back to the parking area and treated ourselves to a refreshing drink of nice, cool water. One drink to cool down our body temperatures and another to cool down my emotional state. I didn't want to end up in another happiness-induced state of shock like I did two years ago.
And although at first I had the feeling that I had somehow gone off course by following the left-hand track, the drive through the deep sand still felt like flying to me... Just like the tar road from the 4x2 parking area onwards. The dune landscape on either side simply flew past us while I continued to float on cloud nine.It took a large herd of oryx crossing the road in front of us at the "Sossuspoort Viewpoint" near "Dune 1" to finally bring me back from my wonderful daydream.Luckily, it wasn't a rhino. Otherwise, my Private Photographer would probably have had to censor the photo because of the precise location information.But after all these oryx sightings and the photo stops they caused, an idea suddenly occurred to me...

Safari: "You know, I have an idea..." *whispers*

Private Photographer: "That'll never work! But I'm in!"

Safari: "We'll see about that!"

So we stopped at the little river crossing near the turn-off to the "Sossus Dune Lodge". While I was still hiding in plain sight beneath a tree, my Private Photographer pulled out his camera with the big telephoto lens.

The trap was set...

Chapter 9: Safari's Tourist Trap!

The trap at the "River Crossing near Sesriem" was set, and the tourist hunt had begun!

Our plan was actually quite simple. My Private Photographer merely had to pretend that he was watching some absolutely mega-amazing and sensational wildlife sighting. And me? Well, I simply had to be myself: a wild lioness! =^.^=My Private Photographer had positioned our camper so that he could spot vehicles coming from the "Sossusvlei" from a long way off. And he could keep an eye on the vehicles coming from the "Sesriem Camp" through the dip in the riverbed in his rear-view mirror.And just like on a proper hunt, all that was left to do at first was wait. While I made myself comfortable in the shade of the tree, my Private Photographer had a drink and took care of the first photo and dashcam backups.

But then, after just a few minutes, the first vehicle appeared from the direction of Sossusvlei!
I got down nice and flat on the ground, ready to pounce, while my Private Photographer stuck his nearly half-metre-long camera and telephoto lens out of the driver's window. To avoid ruining the illusion, he didn't even look at the approaching vehicle, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on me instead. All he could do was listen as the engine noise of the approaching vehicle grew louder and louder...and then simply drove straight past us?!

What?
Why?
Hey! Come back!
You're missing...
...the sighting of your lifetime!

But, of course, a lioness like me isn't discouraged by a single failed attempt. Even my sisters don't succeed with every hunt!
However, when the next six vehicles also drove straight past us without even slowing down, I had to call an emergency meeting with my Private Photographer.

Safari: "You either need to try harder, or you need a bigger piece of equipment!"

Private Photographer: "An even bigger and heavier lens is more than my slipped disc can handle, and I'm already trying as hard as I can!
I think you simply need to stop hiding quite so well, so that people actually have a chance of seeing you."

Safari: "Okay, I'll do that. But from now on, you're getting on the roof and you're no longer hiding behind the windscreen and the rear-view mirror!"

For safety reasons, of course, he didn't actually climb onto the roof of the vehicle. Instead, with the driver's door open, he stood on the step used for getting into the cab. Even so, he was now standing tall enough to be clearly visible above the roof of the camper.
And I made myself comfortable on the thick branch. Thanks to my fur colour, I was still nicely camouflaged, but anything more obvious would have been a little too obvious.Fortunately, the next six vehicles also came from the direction of the airstrip/Sossusvlei, so we could spot them from a long way off as little white glowing dots. Unfortunately for us, though, nobody stopped here either. I started wondering whether we were still doing something wrong, or whether it was simply the location. In Etosha National Park, there would probably already have been two cars parked next to our camper by now. Or maybe people simply don't have any time anymore these days. Perhaps their holiday itineraries are just far too tightly packed.
Oh, if only they knew what they were missing!Goodbye, tour bus full of sensation-hungry tourists. Even though you didn't see me, I saw you!

By now, the photo backups were finished too, so we were just about ready to give up and drive on ourselves when the next white motorised vehicle suddenly appeared on the horizon. All right, then. One last attempt.
So I made myself comfortable on my branch while my Private Photographer once again climbed halfway onto the roof and played the part of a wildly excited wildlife photographer. From about half a lioness's hunting distance away (roughly 100 metres), we could hear the increasingly loud rumble of the approaching engine.
But right alongside our vehicle, the engine noise suddenly turned into the sound of brakes!

They're stopping! They're actually stopping!!!To fully appreciate this moment, we need to travel about 30 seconds back in time and imaginatively climb into the other vehicle, occupied by the young German-speaking couple.

---

Partner to her boyfriend: "Look over there! There's a man standing on the door and photographing something in the bush.
Strange... I can't see anything. Can you?"

Boyfriend, very coolly: "Yes. A lion."

Partner: "A WHAT?! WHERE? STOP!!!"

*Boyfriend slams on the brakes and then reverses a little.*

Boyfriend: "There, on the tree."

*Partner laughs loudly and starts taking photos of me.*

Partner: "Awesome! Absolutely awesome!"

---

My Private Photographer quickly walked over to the young couple's vehicle and happily told them that they had just saved our day. And although they had fallen into our trap, they were delighted that they had stopped. And they also told us about their conversation above. Looking back, though, I have a sneaking suspicion that at least the man had already spotted me in the Dead Vlei earlier that morning. Otherwise, he probably wouldn't have remained quite so calm.

After a few more friendly words and some travel stories, the two of them happily drove on. We were just about to leave ourselves when the next car stopped, its occupants rolled down their windows and started photographing me with their mobile phones like I was a world-famous celebrity!

This time it was a group of four seasoned travellers from Germany, who were absolutely delighted to have fallen for our tourist trap. Once again, my Private Photographer chatted to the friendly group and congratulated them on their very first lion sighting, while my happiness soared to previously unknown heights.

But things were about to get even better. Encouraged by these two encounters, we decided to stay on the hunt a little longer. And just a short while later, not one but two cars stopped at exactly the same time!

I can't believe it! I've caused my first lioness-sighting traffic jam!!!A little overwhelmed, my Private Photographer first walked over to the vehicle that had stopped a little further away from my tree. A woman — let's call her "Susan" — looked out of the passenger window in confusion. She hadn't spotted me yet because of the distance and my natural camouflage.

Susan: "What do you see?"

Private Photographer: *enthusiastically* "A lion!"

Susan: "WHAT?! WHERE???"

Private Photographer: "At the tree."

Susan: "Oh, there! Genius!" *smilies* "Can we take a photo?"

Private Photographer: "Sure!"But the four South Africans in the second car were even more fun than the woman and her husband. We had a proper laugh with them! They actually got out of their vehicle and enjoyed their lioness sighting to the absolute fullest. Chris in particular, the pride's alpha male, was thrilled and said that we should never lose our sense of humour in life. Ans also his fellow travellers agreed that this had been the best stop of the entire day.
And let's be honest: when do you ever get the chance to take a selfie with a lioness without having to worry about being eaten? =^.^=

Thank you all for the video and the photo!

Sensational video: Lioness spotted near Sesriem! 

Chapter 10: Safari's Ennoblement

After my successful tourist hunt, I actually thought that was it. Honestly! I really assumed that all we had left to do was stock up on a few supplies at the camp shop and that my Private Chauffeur would grab something quick to eat. But apparently, I didn't know my Private Chauffeur quite well enough yet!We reached the "Sesriem Camp" almost exactly at midday, and my Private Travel Companion went into the shop first to buy a few bottles of mineral water and some soft drinks. At the checkout, he asked the shop cashier whether they had a sighting book here where visitors could record their wildlife sightings.

Shop Cashier: "I'm sorry. We used to have a sighting book, but not anymore. But what did you see?"

Private Photographer: "Oh, I saw quite a few animals! I saw a jackal, a big group of oryx, a springbok and a lioness!"

Shop Cashier: "Sorry, you saw a LION?!"

Private Photographer: "Yes, a lioness!"

Shop Cashier: "Sorry, but that can't be true."

Private Photographer: "I can show you the photos, if you like."

*The shop cashier comes around her desk to take a closer look.*

Private Photographer: *showing her Sensational Photo A* "See! Here is the antelope at the very last bush in the Dead Vlei..."

Private Photographer: *skipping to Sensational Photo B* "...and here is the hunting lioness."

Just to recap, here are the two sensational photos once again:

With her mouth visibly hanging open, the poor woman stared at the camera display showing Sensational Photo B with me on it. She joined my growing ranks of what I shall henceforth call my "Believers", and excitedly called the receptionist over from the other side of the room. Once again, my Private Photographer first showed her Sensational Photo A, with the springbok in the Dead Vlei, and then Sensational Photo B, with me lying in wait. What can I say? She was convinced too that I was a real lioness!
Naturally, my Private Photographer was immediately bombarded with questions about exactly when and where he had seen the lioness. Fortunately, he could easily back up his story with more photos of the Dead Vlei and its dried-up trees. Drawn over by the excited conversation between the three of them, the barmaid came over next. I'll call her "Sarah", as she will play another role later on. And as soon as she saw the photos, she instantly became my next Believer!
Slightly overwhelmed by the situation, the three ladies then called over one of their colleagues from the storeroom to get a fourth opinion. At first, he too couldn't believe the claim that there was a lioness in the Sossusvlei and took a very close look at Sensational Photo B. But faced with what appeared to be irrefutable photographic evidence, he believed it too! Unlike the others, however, he was a man of action. He realised that, for the protection of the guests, management had to be informed immediately about a wild and fearsome lioness on the loose...

...wellllll.
And this is where my memories and these of my Private Chronicler begin to diverge.
His version is short and rather boring. But my "alternative" version, on the other paw, is much more exciting and much funnier — and, quite frankly, absolutely essential for understanding the rest of our journey!

The Chronicler's Version:
By this point, the situation was getting a little too hot for me, and I didn't want to cause a general panic. So I stopped the man just in time. In the presence of all four members of staff, I showed him another photo of Safari, clearly demonstrating that she was not some large and dangerous predator, but a very soft and cuddly lioness.
Despite — or perhaps precisely because of — my little joke, everyone had a good laugh in the end and thanked me for the entertainment.

Safari's Version:
To help the man from the storeroom inform management, my Private Photographer followed him outside the shop. And once again, I'll let you guess who was waiting in the car in the car park, keeping watch without having the slightest idea what was going on. Of course: me! A completely wild and (un)dangerous (plush) lioness! =^.^=
Once he realised the harmless truth, the man burst out laughing and came up with the brilliant idea of giving the three ladies in the shop a little fright. After all the mischief we had already got up to that day, we were naturally more than happy to join in!

My Private Chauffeur went back into the shop and distracted the three ladies for a few moments. Meanwhile, I climbed onto the man's back and wrapped my undangerously soft front paws around his neck. Then he ran into the shop shouting: "She's got me! She's got me!" Only to toss me straight into the arms of my Private Photographer, who was standing right in the middle of the now completely shocked women. They all took a step backwards before finally realising that, yes, I was a lioness — but not exactly a completely wild one.

We all burst out laughing. And then we laughed even more when my Private Photographer told them about Elisabeth and the tour guide in the Dead Vlei. He also told them about the four vehicles we had managed to lure into stopping for a wildlife sighting. And then, to crown it all, Sarah, the barmaid, said to me: "You are the first desert lion queen here in Sesriem!" And from that moment on, that was my official title!

"Safari, the first Namib Desert Lion Queen of Sossusvlei and Sesriem"

Chapter 11: Lionesses Everywhere!

Chronicler to Safari: "Can we please get back to the actual truth from now on?"

Safari: "As if you always stick to the actual truth! Don't forget! Now comes the part with Lydia!"

Anyway, back to the story.

After returning to the car with our shopping, I resumed my duties as a guard lioness. My Private Chauffeur, however, was determined to have a quick bite to eat in the restaurant. There, he bumped into the four South Africans at the bar again. Just to remind you: they were the ones with the lioness selfie and the springbok-dropping competition. Poor Brenda, who had lost, really did have to buy her boys a beer.😟
While chatting with the group, who, incidentally, were travelling through Namibia together as some sort of company event, they exchanged even more personal stories. And since Sarah, the waitress, once again asked my Private Photographer to show her bar colleague the sensational photos of the hunting lioness — he was another Believer, too 🤩 — my Private Photographer didn't really get much chance to eat. Only after the South Africans had said their goodbyes did there finally seem to be some hope of enjoying his Greek salad with chicken strips in peace. But no sooner had the South African group left the restaurant than Lydia slid over from the other end of the bar.

Lydia herself was a tour guide from Uganda and had apparently overheard something about a sensational photo of a hunting lioness in the Dead Vlei. She asked whether she could see the photo too, and naturally my Private Photographer didn't need to be asked twice. Once again, she was first shown Sensational Photo A — the springbok — followed by Sensational Photo B: me, Safari, the hunting lioness. And she was instantly convinced. As an Instagram influencer, she immediately saw the potential of such a phenomenal photo and advised my Private Photographer to post it on social media straight away. Unfortunately, that wasn't possible because my Private Photographer didn't have any social media accounts. And when Lydia proudly showed him a short video of a pride of lions that had received more than 1,000 likes, my Private Photographer simply offered to transfer the photo to her phone. I strongly suspect that, at that very moment, Lydia had an imaginary glimpse into the future, in which this sensational photo of a hunting lioness in the Sossusvlei would presumably bring her several million likes and thousands of comments on her Instagram channel. 🤣
But, to her absolute despair, neither the Bluetooth transfer to her iPhone nor the transfer to her older Android phone worked. The least she could do was hand my Private Photographer a flyer for her travel agency and get him to promise to contact her as soon as he returned home. And she also invited him to join her on a trip to East Africa, just like that... 😲

Before Lydia's group had to continue their journey, my Private Photographer lured her over to the car I was guarding, under the pretext that he absolutely had to show her the photos of the three leopards. I still have no idea how he managed it, but somehow he even retrieved our 2024 Namibia photobook from the passenger door and showed her the relevant photobook page — while I was sitting right there on the passenger seat the entire time. Only when he then pointed directly at me, and our eyes met...

I have never heard anyone laugh so loudly in my entire life! She was practically doubled over with laughter when she realised that she had spent the last half hour falling for the trap of a plush lioness. Or, as Lydia herself put it: "You have cracked my ribs, Safari!" And of course, after the trip, we got in touch with her and sent her the sensational photo after all. 😉

But even in her hurry, a quick selfie was an absolute must, too.Thank you so much, Lydia! You, too, have strengthened my belief that you can be anything you want to be!
And in my case, of course, that means:

A REAL AND WILD LIONESS!
=^.^=

---

It was shortly after 13:00 when we finally left "Sesriem" behind. Ahead of us lay several hours of driving along the C27, which runs southwards along the edge of the Namib Desert.But after the uplifting and dream-come-true experiences in Sossusvlei and Sesriem, there was no way I could simply sit still.
My greatest dream of becoming a wild, real and famous lioness had come true!
Even if it was only in the eyes of my Believers. But at least it had happened several times!

I was positively bursting with lion strength, energy and self-confidence!
I could have taken down an elephant!
I could have conquered all of Etosha!
I could have...
...roared with such uncontrollable joy that the whole of Namibia would have heard me!!!

Roaring!
That was the answer!

As the new Namib Desert Lion Queen of Sossusvlei-Sesriem, I needed a pride anthem for everyone to sing along to! And I knew just the right song: The Lionesses' Song!

*Safari to her Private Chauffeur*

Safari: "Play my anthem! Play the 'Roar of the lionesses' Song!"

Private Chauffeur: "You mean the song of the English women's national football team?"

Safari: "YES! But with my rewritten verses, it will become our song!"

Private Chauffeur: "You have written new lyrics?"

Safari: "Of course! And to make this work properly, the words in bold need to be roared extra loudly... I mean sung!"

---

---

Safari: "Oh, now I'm really fired up! Play it again!"

Private Chauffeur: "Please have mercy on my ears!"

Safari: "Never! I said AGAIN!"

Private Chauffeur: "Help! I've created a big cat!"

Safari: "How true! Oh, how very tr-rrrrrrrRRRRRRRRR-ue!"

Safari roars loudly: "AGAIN!"

Chapter 12: Summer Residence

After unfortunately only twelve repetitions of my anthem, every single word of which I had roared out across the Namib at the top of my lungs, my Private Chauffeur was finally granted relief in the form of a new sighting. In the middle of the "NamibRand Nature Reserve", we spotted two mountain zebras. Presumably a pair, they were searching for something edible away from the road and otherwise just going about their business.The road to "Betta" was marked by an almost endless stretch of road and even more endless expanses."Betta" was located roughly halfway between "Sesriem" and "Tiras" and made an excellent stopover. We got a refreshing drink to cool down, while our camper got a boost of energy in the form of diesel fuel. And I also have fond memories of the toilets at the back of the building.Rejuvenated, we were ready to tackle the next two hours, or 140 kilometres.Beyond "Spes Bona", we continued to the end of the road at the junction with the C13. I would have loved to stop by nearby "Helmeringhausen". But by now, there simply wasn't enough time for another detour. So we turned right, heading south.
And another half-hour later, we reached the vast valley of the "Tirasberg Conservancy". The sudden view was simply spectacular!Thanks to all the satellite images my Private Travel Guide had studied while planning the trip, he immediately recognised the hill where our campsite was located.We reached "Farm Tiras" about an hour before sunset, where Tanja, our host for the next two days, was already waiting for us. We had booked "Mountain Camp B" here, one of the places I had been looking forward to most during our trip planning. Although, personally, I would have preferred to take over the "Rustic Camp". Unfortunately, it had already been booked when we made our reservation - only to become available now! For a moment, we considered whether we should switch camps. But the "Rustic Camp" required a certain amount of preparation, as there is no running water there. So we decided to stick with our "Mountain Camp". And since we were the only guests so far, we had the entire hill all to ourselves. =^.^=

The handover of the keys and explanation of the route on a little map was quick. Among other things, because my Private Chauffeur already knew the way from the satellite images. Tanja briefly told us about the other paths leading to beautiful spots and about the wild horses on the farm. We could probably have chatted with her well into the night, if we hadn't wanted to set up our camp while there was still daylight. So we said a brief goodbye until tomorrow and headed off to our campsite.

We instantly fell in love with the "Mountain Camp". The balcony above the toilet and shower facilities, as well as the fireplace surrounded by its painted wall, were just beautiful. And then, of course, there is the view! After being crowned queen, I felt as though I had been given my very own summer residence! Unfortunately, though, the approaching clouds denied me the sunset.To avoid being left in the dark later, we lit the campfire first and only then put up the rooftop tent. This meant that by dusk we already had a nicely glowing fire with plenty of embers for our braai. After all, we still had those oryx steaks from Windhoek to look forward to.

The steaks and potatoes had just finished cooking when suddenly something landed on the ground right next to me. At first, I couldn't see anything. Then something hit me on the shoulder! And then on the head!
Help! A grasshopper squadron is attacking us!

Luckily for us, the grasshoppers were unarmed and merely attracted by the light of the fire. One rather clumsy grasshopper proved this by flying straight into the glowing embers...
To get some peace and quiet around the campfire, my Private Grillmaster simply put the LED camping lamp down at the bottom of the driveway. That way, many of the light-loving little creatures could gather there without getting roasted.

We stayed up until almost midnight, admiring the sparkling starry sky and the Milky Way.Private Photographer: "Safari! Do you really have to stick your nose into absolutely everything?"

Safari: "Oops... Sorry!" =^.^=

Chapter 13: Beautiful Surprises

"Safari! Wake up! Photoshooting!"

Those were the words that rudely catapulted me out of dreamland. And what a beautiful dream I had been having! I was dreaming about sensational reports in the Namibian news and newspapers about me and my sighting in the Sossusvlei!
With a mighty yawn, I slowly opened my eyes and realised... that it was still pitch dark?!?
Presumably, my Private Photographer's biological alarm clock had struck again.
Still sleepy and not yet capable of forming complete sentences, I briefly asked my Private Photographer:

Safari: "What time is it?"

Private Photographer: "5:15 a.m.!"

Safari: "WAAAAT!!! Why the hell are you waking me up at this hour?!"

Private Photographer: "As the Queen of Sesriem and Sossusvlei, you still need to be crowned!"

Safari: "And with what exactly are you planning to crown me out here in the middle of nature and in the middle of the night?"

Private Photographer: "With the most beautiful thing the world has to offer!"

Now I was getting curious about what he meant, and of course I got up as well. As if I had any other choice.
What awaited me was simply breathtaking!Awww...

Thank you, my dear Private Photographer, -Travel Guide, -Chauffeur and whatever else you are to me!

We then retreated into the rooftop tent once more and waited for sunrise in our warm bed, watching through our window.For breakfast, we had a simple salami sandwich with Landjäger, a firm cured sausage, and cheese, as well as a fried potato left over from the previous evening. And, just like the previous evening, we also had a few grasshoppers visiting us again this morning.They were probably still in energy-saving mode, though, because they were absolutely quiet.

With another night at Tiras ahead of us, we had nothing fixed on our itinerary for today. So the entire day was ours to do with as we pleased. What to do, then? Well, anyone who knows my Private Travel Guide knows that he had already planned out the entire day once again.
First on his wish list for the day was a trip along the famous D707. A road running along the edge of the Namib Desert, which many people claim is the most beautiful road in all of Namibia. Well then, let's see!Well, that view looks pretty beautiful already! And we were still on the C13 and hadn't even reached the D707 yet! It only began 5 km south of "Farm Tiras"!First we drove between two mountains and past "Farm Excelsior", which advertised coffee and cake, but didn't look particularly cosy from a distance. And then came long, dead-straight stretches of road as far as the eye could see. The Tiras Mountains to the east and the red sand dunes of the Namib Desert to the west.What can I say? If you're looking for wide-open spaces and solitude, this is definitely the place for you. Apart from just a handful of unstoppable cars, we did at least see a few animals. As long as we stayed in the vehicle, they were surprisingly relaxed most of the time. But heaven forbid you stop and try to take a photo!Somewhere around halfway along the D707, we stopped, switched off the engine and the music, and simply got out.Silence...But then my Private Photographer suddenly called out: "Safari! Three cars on the horizon! Photo trap! Hide!"

Where on earth was I supposed to lie in wait here? There was absolutely nothing useful to hide!
Well, I did my best......and of course, it was all for nothing. My Private Photographer, standing on the car door frame with his telephoto lens, was simply ignored by the three passing cars, which drove one behind the other with a large gap between them. I suspect they were travelling together and, like so many tourists apparently, had no time to spare.

Looking at the digital map, we considered whether we should brave the heat and drive another hour to the end of the D707. But from "Spes Bona" it would still take at least 1.5 hours via the C-roads, or two hours back to Tiras along the D707.
We decided to drive straight back, get some rest and then take another drive around the farm in the afternoon.

On the way back, we passed the "Bird Tree" again. We had already spotted it on the first run, when all the feathered residents made themselves scarce as soon as we tried to stop. This time we approached much more carefully and slowly.But without any cover, it was hopeless! Once again, nothing but wings and bottoms! *grrrumble*
But with these seemingly endless vistas, like here at "Gunsbewys", you can already see who's coming to visit the day after tomorrow!Already slightly roasted by the midday heat, we passed "Farm Excelsior" once again and read the sign advertising coffee and cold drinks. But from this side, too, the farm didn't exactly look like the sort of place where you would find a cosy spot. So we drove past the farm entrance at 60 km/h, only to spot tables and chairs beautifully arranged beneath the trees out of the corners of our eyes at exactly the same moment. Hmm... perhaps after all...
It took another few seconds of consideration before we finally stopped, turned around and drove back. At first, with nothing more than the thought: We can always just have a look.

But what we saw looked more than just cosy.
Not far from the road stood a caravan painted with cheerful sayings and sunflowers. In front of the caravan were three tables with seating, arranged in a rustic style and with an obvious great deal of love.A young man and a granny were sitting by the entrance, and the granny greeted us warmly and immediately asked, rather curiously, how it came to be that a lioness was travelling through Namibia with a Private Chauffeur. I don't know how, but her open and friendly nature immediately won a place in my lioness heart.

And while my Private Chauffeur was allowed to help himself to a big biscuit and a cool drink from the fridge inside the caravan, I proudly showed Sonja, the Caravan Lady, my photobook from my last trip to Namibia and told her all about my adventures and experiences. As she slowly leafed through my photobook, she kept telling the young man sitting next to us that he absolutely had to visit these places himself one day.As it soon turned out, the young man was on an adventure of his own. He had already cycled all the way from "Cape Town" to here, and still planned to continue via "Sesriem" and "Swakopmund" all the way to the "Skeleton Coast". But for the moment, he was waiting here for a friend who was due to arrive by bicycle tomorrow, or perhaps the day after tomorrow.
We felt a little sorry for him when he told us about the hardships of cycling on the unpaved roads, so we gave him our remaining lamb chops. Wouldn't want the poor fellow to fall off his bicycle halfway there!But Sonja, the Caravan Lady, also had plenty of stories from her life to tell. And so we ended up spending almost an hour at her caravan café.

Thank you, Sonja, for your openness and the lovely time!

Chapter 14: Nature at Its Purest!Our next stop, at Tanja's place on "Tiras", was only a stone's throw away. We had originally planned to simply use the guest Wi-Fi to send a few photos home and register for our self-drive around the farm. But unlike the previous evening, we had time today, so what was supposed to be a 'quick stop' turned into a 'slightly longer one'.We had barely arrived when the next potential guests pulled up at the farmhouse. They were a couple from South Africa asking for the best route to "Sesriem". Apart from the fact that they had just driven straight past the D707, even the faster route via the C13/C27 would have taken them at least four hours to reach "Sesriem" with their trailer! And since it was already afternoon, both Tanja and my Private Chauffeur advised against attempting the journey that same day. Showing them our paper road maps, we recommended either driving as far as "Betta" at most, or simply staying here for the night. Campsite C, right below us, was still available.

While the two of them discussed their options beside their trailer, Tanja came back with a well-chilled bottle of water and told us that a whole family had also arrived at the farm the previous evening after sunset in their camper. They had apparently underestimated the distances and driving times just as badly! Fortunately, Tiras has an emergency campsite near the farmhouse for exactly such situations, so Tanja was able to accommodate these spontaneous guests.

The South African couple had meanwhile made up their minds. They wanted to stay here for the night. While Tanja hurried back to the farmhouse to fetch the keys, we were visited by "Miez-Man". As a still-young tomcat, he was quite a wild one, but at the same time a very handsome fellow!But it wasn't just the tomcat who had caught our attention. The beautiful garden had also piqued our curiosity by now. So, with Tanja's permission, we had a little look around.Hello? Anyone home?We hadn't gone very far when "Miez-Man" demonstrated one of his useful talents. All I can say is: Bon appétit!There was really all sorts of things to discover here. Gardens, chickens, hats and butterflies!A well-fed "Miez-Man"His sister "Minki", on the other paw, was doing nothing but sleeping... erm... I mean, conserving her energy!After finishing our little garden excursion, we spoke to Tanja again about the farm drive. We wanted to try our luck with the wild horses in the northern part of the farm. Tanja explained on a simple map which routes we needed to take to get there. She actually didn't want to give us her last copy of the hand-drawn map. But when we offered our 2024 photobook as a deposit, the deal was sealed. While Tanja could now have a curious browse through our photobook, we set off with her map.

We first had to cross the road back to the campsite and drive around the hill. There we discovered another botanical surprise: a still relatively young quiver tree.From there, we continued through another gate to the first cattle waterhole, where the first sign for the farm drive was already waiting for us. The track then led us through a riverbed, with a weaver bird colony high up in a tree on its edge, where the busy little birds were hard at work.At the next cattle waterhole, we found another sign pointing north along the fence. We had driven perhaps 300 metres when my Private Chauffeur's sense of direction sensed a position mismatch. By triangulating the surrounding mountains and valleys, the fence and the cattle waterhole behind us, his internal navigation system determined that there was no way we could possibly be on the right track, even though the signpost had clearly sent us this way. So we turned around, drove back to the sign and took the other track. This led us through the riverbed once again, to the third cattle waterhole. This time, though, it wasn't cattle that had gathered there, but sparrows.Or perhaps they are actually weaver birds? We urgently need an ornithologist in our pride! They would surely know immediately which species the next feathered creature belonged to.We continued between two mountains towards the dam. There we didn't find a herd of horses, but we did find a herd of cattle.And, of course, there was plenty of landscape, wide open spaces and solitude, too.On the way back, we made a little detour to the "Rustic Campsite". If I ever make it back to Tiras in my lifetime, I definitely want to camp here! This place, right in the middle of nature, is simply incredibly beautiful - so wonderfully peaceful, secluded and idyllic.And the view stretching all the way to the horizon is just pure, gigantic nature!Even if you were to come out of the shower here stark naked and dry yourself in the sunshine on the bench, there would simply be nobody for miles around to see you or be bothered by it. Apart from your partner or fellow camper who might happen to be there, of course.After taking a detour via the farm - my Private Tour Guide had to make a little phone call home - we drove back to the campsite. And while I was once again searching somewhere behind the clouds for the sunset, my Private Grillmaster was already preparing our next braai.With a cosy crackling fire, we enjoyed another delicious oryx steak with side dishes in the evening twilight. And this time, thank goodness, we were able to enjoy the whole evening without a single grasshopper attack. =^.^=We then went to bed with the last torch of our campfire still burning. And while my Private Chauffeur, plagued by his troublesome slipped disc, searched for a pain-free sleeping position, I was already dreaming of our next adventures.

And even though tomorrow was supposed to be nothing more than a leisurely driving day to the "Mount Canyon Guestfarm" - and therefore, in theory, nothing particularly exciting - Namibia was once again about to surprise us with an incredible story.

So stay on my trail! It's worth it!

Yours, Safari =^.^=

Chapter 15: Safari, the Good Samaritan Lioness
(Saturday, 14 March 2026)

Once again, my Private Travel Companion woke me before dawn. This time, however, in addition to his biological alarm clock, his second means of elimination also came into play - in liquid form. That was already the third time since yesterday that he had been in such a hurry.
He suspected that perhaps it was the farm's drinking water that was causing this reaction. I, on the other paw, suspected that it might have been a side effect of all the painkillers he had been taking - two tablets every day so far.
Whatever the case, it was too early. And above all, it was too cold. So there were two very good reasons to stay snuggled up in our warm and cosy bed, dozing until sunrise.It wasn't until the first rays of sunlight appeared that we finally got up and, after a simple breakfast, packed up all our belongings. Then it was one last trip over to the farm to return the campsite key and exchange our photobook back for the hand-drawn farm map. I would have happily stayed here for another two days!We set off shortly before 10:00. But we didn't get very far before our next little episode. About 3 km before Tiras, we spotted a small SUV standing by the roadside. On closer inspection, it didn't just have a flat tyre - its entire right rear tyre had been completely destroyed. Naturally, we stopped and asked the young Frenchman whether he needed any help, but he politely declined. We pointed out that Farm Tiras wasn't far away if he did end up needing assistance, and then continued on our way, heading further south along the C13.I often wondered what the animals out here actually lived on. Take this group of ostriches, for example, which we spotted not far from the road.The desert melons by the roadside must surely be far too hard for them.

A little later, we reached the small village of "Aus", which, with its estimated 100 inhabitants, is probably the most important settlement within a 100-kilometre radius! After all, major regional roads such as the B4 and C13 meet here. And there is even a railway station, a hotel and a church!
After two days surrounded by nothing but wilderness, this almost feels like big-city life again. =^.^=Taking advantage of the excellent infrastructure, we not only filled up our vehicle's fuel tank at the petrol station, but also topped up its tyres with fresh compressed air to 2.0 bar at the tyre shop next door. And after a quick detour through the food shop, our drinks supplies were nicely replenished, too.

Now we were ready for 180 km of tarmac! How unbelievably unexciting! -_-

But a driving day is a driving day, and it is simply part of a journey like this.
So, off we go, Private Chauffeur! Speed up and cover some distance!

We made astonishing 7 kilometres before stopping again. Wondering why? Oh, there is actually quite an interesting story behind that.

We had more or less just left "Aus" when we noticed a stationary car in the distance on our right-hand side. In Europe, that would be perfectly normal, but here in Namibia, in the middle of nowhere? My Private Chauffeur therefore slowed down, and then slowed down even more when a person ran onto the road, waving at us for help.(Link to the corresponding dashcam video)

We stopped and asked if something had happened. Another tourist's car had broken down because it had run out of petrol. And the woman asked us, if we could take her back to Aus to the nearest petrol station, which we had only just left ourselves. As the Good Samaritan Lioness and helpful Private Chauffeur that we were, there was of course no way we could turn down her request. We quickly turned around while she pulled her spare fuel canister out of her absolutely packed boot, and soon we were on our way back to the regional metropolis of "Aus". Along the way, we learned from the young woman that she was from China, her name was "Yumeng", and that the last petrol station apparently hadn't had any petrol.

At the petrol station in Aus, we greeted the attendant for the second time this day and asked him to fill the canister with petrol. The attendant managed to botch this in such a way that the canister overflowed (fortunately in the area protected by dirty water), leaving us with a petrol-soaked canister. Avoiding making another mess inside our vehicle, transporting the canister back to Yumeng's car was now rather tricky.

But my Private Chauffeur had a good idea: simply put the canister inside a large plastic bag, which luckily he had brought from home.
Thinking ahead, we also asked for a funnel to fill the tank. Apparently, there wasn't one. So, as a last resort, a half-cut PET bottle would have to do later. We still had plenty of those in our rubbish bag.

On the way back to Yumeng's car, we continued chatting and now heard the really interesting part of her story. Because what we hadn't noticed at first was that not only Yumeng, but her car too, was from China! And I don't mean that she had been flown here and the car had been transported by ship, like us and our Toyota Hilux. No!
She had driven all the way from China, through Russia, Finland and another 65 countries across Europe and Africa, all the way to Namibia! Wow! Now that is what I call an adventure!

Back at Yumeng's car, the hardships of this incredibly long journey were clearly visible. The windscreen in particular was covered with hastily patched holes and cracks held together with tape and was in desperate need of replacement. Yumeng's problem was that her Chinese car brand wasn't sold here, so she couldn't get hold of any spare parts! o.o
Of course, my Private Chauffeur then helped her pour the petrol into the tank as carefully as possible, while I gave the poor car some much-needed affectionate cuddles.Stay strong, battered hybrid car and caravan for Yumeng! Hopefully, in a few months, you'll be back home in China. Carry on!With the good feeling of having helped someone in need, we continued on our way, following the tarred B4 further and further east.
You see fewer and fewer of these purrrrrrfectly straight roads in Europe these days. My Private Chauffeur once heard from a road planner that gentle curves are often incorporated into new roads to help keep drivers' attention focused. And attention was certainly needed here, because the road — or rather, the lane — was quite narrow compared with the much wider gravel roads.

Somewhat less attention was needed for the strangely dancing lads by the roadside, who were also using a direction sign as a makeshift drum. Together with their colleagues waiting on the other side of the road, they had probably just set up a tourist trap and trying to beg us for money.

So we drove and drove until we reached the bridge over the "Fish River" / "Fischfluss". Here we took a short sightseeing, drinks and snack break at the adjacent rest area. And since we were travelling during Namibia's rainy season, the river was carrying a surprisingly large amount of water.Safari: "Wouldn't it be lovely if a river were named after me, too? I mean, who even likes fish outside their plate?"

Private Chauffeur: "Keep dreaming, Safari. Besides, lions and water don't exactly go together."

Sigh... even though he was, unfortunately, right, he was right.
But a lioness is still allowed to dream!

Chapter 16: When Dreams Come True

It wasn't far from the Fish River to our turn-off onto the C12. Since we were back on unpaved roads from the junction onwards, we immediately lowered the tyre pressure again. Apparently, there had once been a small railway stop here called "Jurgen", presumably dating back to colonial times. But judging by the state of the tracks, no train has departed from here for decades.The closer we got to the Naute Dam, the more irrigated farmland we could see off the road. And then, quite unexpectedly, another one of my wishes suddenly came true!

Safari: "STOP! Stop the car!"

Private Chauffeur: "What? Why?"

Safari: "MY RIVER!!!"

Private Chauffeur: "What?! Your river? I... I can't believe it!"

I didn't care whether my Private Chauffeur believed me or not. Because here, at the foot of the Naute Dam, it was: MY river!!! 🤩("Löwen" is the german word for "lion")

And as a free bonus, there was even a complimentary tyre-surface wash in the form of a river crossing.We continued on, passing the site of a train accident, heading back towards the railway tracks and then following them for kilometres until we reached the railway crossing at "Chamaites".Here began the roughly 13-kilometre approach to our next refuge: "Mount Canyon Guest Farm".We reached the farm house in the late afternoon and, after ringing the bell at reception, were warmly greeted by Abraham. We had booked the upper of the two Mountain Chalets, the "Luiperd Room 6".As it quickly turned out, we were once again the only guests for the next two days! Nevertheless, we received the full service and could even choose what time we wanted to have dinner! Now how cool is that?! Strategically, we chose 18:00, leaving us enough time to enjoy the sunset from the chalet at 19:15.

After handing over the key, Abraham accompanied us to the chalet to show us all its technical features. Instead of a conventional nose-cavity-drying device (air conditioning), there was a cooling unit that could cool the fresh air from outside while also humidifying it. I was delighted! 🤩
And then there was the chalet itself, built right into the rock! A dream of an accommodation! I would have happily settled down here immediately and spent all day stretching out all four paws!And the view was promising from the very beginning, too.I used the time before dinner to rest and recharge my energy, while my Private Tour Guide emptied half the car. After all, we hadn't chosen this chalet just for its dream location, but also because, after roughly a week on the road, it was time to back up our photos, do some laundry and generally reorganise everything.

As agreed, we headed back to the farm house a little later, where Abraham and our three-course buffet dinner were waiting for us. Wow! And this despite the fact that, as mentioned, we were the only guests!
There was breaded oryx schnitzel, fried potatoes, vegetables and a selection of different salads at the buffet. Each and every one of them a wonderful feast in its own right!
The only thing they didn't have was lemon slices for the ice-cold Cola with ice cubes, but they were immediately happy to prepare the lemon we had brought ourselves.Another lovely sign of hospitality was that Abraham came and joined us at the table, giving us a chance to chat with him. Among other things, we learned that he had given up cattle farming because of the unreliable rainfall and had now become a tourist catcher. Just like me! =^.^=

When we drove back to the chalet shortly before sunset, we felt absolutely stuffed after eating so much! My Private Tour Guide, however, seemed to have overdone it slightly, judging by how quickly he fled to the toilet. He really needed to get off those painkillers.

We just made it in time for our sundowner on the viewing platform just above the chalet. We stayed there well into the twilight, quietly watching the ever-changing colours and clouds in the sky.And I still remember how, in the end, we simply lay down on our backs and gazed up at the thousands upon thousands of stars in the sky. It was simply indescribably beautiful!For a long moment, I considered simply closing my eyes and falling asleep right there on the platform. Just like my wild relatives do every night in the Kalahari or Etosha.
But in the end, I was carried downstairs and placed between lots of pillows in a big, soft bed.

And as my eyes instantly closed, I awoke in my dream back on the viewing platform, as a real and wild lioness, gazing up at the glowing stars. =^.^=

Chapter 17: Lion River Canyon and Free Cuddles
(Sunday, 15.03.2026)

Simply purrrrfect!

What could be better than waking up refreshed after seven hours of deep sleep? And the fact that it was only just after four and the stars were still twinkling outside made it even better!
We quietly slipped outside for a while and climbed back up to the viewing platform. The view and the stars! I simply couldn't get enough of them!After crawling back into bed for another while (it was a little too chilly after all), we finally got up properly two hours later. A quick wash and we were at the farmhouse for breakfast, right on the dot at 7:00. Rozelle, Abraham's wife, spared no effort at breakfast either, offering us everything she would have served to an entire tour group. But we are very modest breakfast eaters. A fresh orange juice, a slice of bread and butter with some cold meat, and perhaps a little fruit are quite enough to give us a good start to the day.

Shortly after sunrise, at around 7:30, we set off. Like a boat accompanied by dolphins... erm, I mean, like a lion queen accompanied by birds, we drove the 13 km back to the main road.

Video of the birds accompanying us (link to dashcam video)

Our destination for today was the famous "Fish River Canyon", which, incidentally, is also where "my river" flows into.Even though we hurried to reach the canyon in the beautiful morning light, the journey still seemed to drag on a little. And at "Hobas", I even had to worry about being allowed in for a moment! No! You just can't leave me behind now!
Luckily, the guard was on my side, and I was able to claim my dual species status as both a lioness and a plush toy.After paying the park entrance fee and making a visit to the last toilet before the abyss, we headed off for the final few kilometres to the first viewpoint. When we arrived at the "Fish River Canyon Viewpoint", we just had enough time to quickly take the following photo before we unexpectedly had another lovely encounter.I hadn't even had a chance to strike a proper pose when the enormous canyon suddenly moved far into the background and little cuddly me was pushed right into the foreground. Arno and Pia from beautiful Switzerland had just come up the steps to the viewing terrace behind us and instantly made me the centre of attention. What can I say? Their openness made me take to them immediately, just as though we'd been friends for years!
We had a wonderfully long chat about lionesses as travel companions, the canyon, Switzerland and whatever else happened to come to mind. And, of course, photos had to be taken! Because just like my Private Photographer, Arno and Pia are also keen amateur photographers.The next unique tourist we encountered was right in front of the viewing terrace. There stood a pink-faced Irish adventurer, telling other visitors about his previous travel experiences. But even more impressive than those was his profession! As a physiotherapist, he was exactly the right professional for my Private Tour Guide with his troublesome slipped disc. And besides giving him a few useful tips, he even treated my Private Tour Guide with a free five-minute neck massage (including the amazing Fish River Canyon view)!

Yes, thank you very much, Michael!With all these encounters, we spent almost an hour at the "Fish River Canyon Viewpoint". And although the rising sun was casting less and less shadow into the canyon, we still wanted to see the other viewpoints. So next we drove over to the car park at the "Hiker's Viewpoint" at a slow lion-trap pace (20 km/h maximum).From the car park, we had to cover the last stretch on our own paws to reach the viewpoint and its picnic area with a long-drop toilet. This is also where the descent to the hiking trail through the "Fish River Canyon" begins, which is strictly off-limits to ordinary visitors. I can well imagine that in the past, some people may have hiked the 550 metres down to the river in the cool morning, only to find themselves unable to make it back up on their own when the midday heat set in. Not to mention the risk of falling.I much preferred staying up here and enjoying the view of the canyon — and of my next potential snack.Although... I don't think this armadillo lizard would make for a very healthy meal. Looking at it, there's surely far too much artificial colouring in there!

We had the viewpoint all to ourselves for about half an hour, until a Belgian couple arrived. And apparently impressed by my Private Photographer's telephoto lens, they absolutely wanted a professional photo with me.

Well, of course! And thank you very much for the complimentary cuddles!After the lovely Belgians, a South African couple also arrived at the viewpoint. They didn't want a selfie with me, but they were more than happy to have a photo of the very first Namib Desert Lion Queen of Sossusvlei and Sesriem.

We got chatting with them too. He, a farmer from South Africa, told us about his fear that his farm might be taken away from him because of his white skin and the country's colonial past. Not a pleasant prospect. But how someone in his position could then be a supporter of probably the world's most capricious president, who simply takes what he wants by force on a whim, was completely beyond me. Especially when he apparently wanted to make sure that other men didn't use force to take what they wanted either.
He even tried to convert my Private Photographer, but he was firmly on my side. So in the end, we agreed to disagree and went our separate ways.

From the "Hiker's Viewpoint", we then drove on to the "Sunset Viewpoint". Again at a slow lion-trap pace, as the tracks along the edge of the cliffs were rather uneven. Here we got a third look at the canyon, but this time without any infrastructure whatsoever.And I had my very own viewpoint on top of the viewpoint. =^.^=At around 12:30, we were back in "Hobas" and raided the shop for the last bottles of sparkling mineral water.And all under the watchful eye of this particularly grumpy-looking car park attendant!

Chapter 18: A Roadhouse Full of Lionesses!

Since lunchtime was already long gone, my Private Chauffeur's empty stomach was beginning to make itself heard. Our cash reserves were also running low, and our Hilux was ready for another fill-up. So what better place to stop on the way back than the "Roadhouse Canyon"? We had already heard and read about this place while planning our trip. So, said and done!

First, we filled the Hilux with about 80 litres of diesel and then parked it in the shade of a covered parking bay to cool down, before heading into the main building in search of some lunch. I can still remember the first surprised looks on the faces of the staff when I appeared at the reception desk in the shop. Apparently, you don't see a lioness here every day.
But besides that brief moment of surprise, I immediately saw genuine warmth and friendliness in their eyes. They weren't just employees — they were lionesses at heart, too! My pride sisters!

For lunch, we chose a shady table outside. Strategically, this was of course also the perfect spot for me to lie in wait for tourists arriving on the tour bus! =^.^=I didn't even have enough time to pick a suitable tourist victim when Lioness Selma had already brought us a refreshing drink. And of course I didn't need to be asked twice for a pride photo with me, neither by her nor by Lioness Mendy. =^.^=Safari: "Ohhhh! Yessss! I love it most behind the ear!"

*PurrRRRrrrRRRrrrRRRrrrRRRrrrRRRrrr*

Safari: "And now, please, a proper cuddle!"And when our lunch arrived shortly afterwards, I felt like a queen all over again!And, as at any good royal court, there were of course sparrows here, too, trying to sneak their share of the feast.After lunch, we had a little look around the garden. With all its old cars, the "Roadhouse Canyon" certainly lived up to its name. Much like "Soliare", there were plenty of interesting photo opportunities for vintage car enthusiasts, ranging from old and surprisingly well preserved to very, very old and completely rusted away.I wonder which came first: the wrecked car or the quiver tree?(Answer: The wrecked car)

And there was also a new warthog sign for my collection!And another Namibia heart to cuddle and cherish!To finish off, my Private Tour Guide wanted to have a little browse around the shop and top up our cash reserves at the ATM (again uncommon South African rand!). I, on the other paw, much preferred to spend the time having a little chat with my sisters of the heart and enjoying a few more cuddles. =^.^=Thank you, Lioness Milencia! I will never forget your warm and heartfelt hug!